Our kids and grandkids are bound to frustrate us at times. It’s part of the deal.
Sometimes we get so used to being frustrated that we can’t find another way to look at the situation.
There is, however, a great way to reframe your child or grandchild’s frustrating behaviors and get back to being part of the solution.
Here’s the secret.
Hiding in plain sight behind each of your child or grandchild’s frustrating behaviors, is one of their greatest strengths.
Their strengths can be helpful or not so helpful, depending upon the way they use them. As the adults in the equation, it’s crucial that we are able to identify these strengths, communicate them to the children in our lives, and help them find constructive ways to use these strengths for good.
Consider these examples:
– Behind the chatty child who never stops talking in class is a kid extremely skilled in connecting with people.
We can look at their chattiness as a terribly frustrating thing and sometimes even shame them into silence, or we can redirect that ability to connect with people into something constructive.
You could highlight and communicate that strength, and then encourage them, for example, to run for class president.
In doing so, let them know that discipline, focus, and respect are character traits of a good president and that their behavior in class should reflect that.
– What about the bossy kid? Consider that this is a kid with a clear vision and a strong belief which allows them to create specific results. You could encourage him or her to start their own business, design their own project, or do something constructive that gives them full autonomy.
– Behind the back-talkers are children willing to push boundaries and speak assertively. What if we directed them toward social change or entrepreneurship?
– Behind those who are bored and disengaged in school is curiosity. What if we taught them to follow their curiosities through research, art, and other mediums?
– Even behind those who persist in difficult behaviors is the strength of persistence. How could we redirect that persistence into something healthy and constructive?
In reframing our kids or grandkids’ frustrating behaviors, we’ve stopped communicating
“You’re bad!”
“Why won’t you stop?”
To:
“You’re great!”
“What should we do with all that greatness?”
The latter is quite a bit more motivating.
Bottomline for every time you come face-to-face with one of your child or grandchild’s frustrating behaviors, do the following:
- Investigate the strength behind it.
- Communicate and praise that strength to the child.
- Brainstorm ways to redirect that strength for good.
- Support the child in redirection.
Frustrations, though exhausting, can actually become a very positive thing.
They are the indicators that one or more of your child or grandchild’s strengths aren’t being used properly.
The process of redirecting those strengths is creative, refreshing, and often, a great bonding experience for you and the children you hold dear.
If inspired, please share.
Related Articles:
Praise Shapes Your Child & Grandchild’s Behavior: 40 Things to Acknowledge
3 Practical Tips To Help Your Child Develop Good Judgement
