Forgiveness is a complex and multifaceted process that can be difficult to navigate, but it is essential for healing and moving forward in our personal and relational lives.

We know this, but do we really KNOW it??? And do we allow ourselves to really learn forgiveness as an actual skill?

You already know this, that the burdens of resentment and pain are traded for the freedom of release and healing. Forgiveness demands strength, emotional intelligence and willingness.

Consider Dr. Shawne’s insights below. She’s a forgiveness expert who is dedicated to helping us all understand and practice forgiveness in a way that we’re not culturally accustomed to: by dispelling myths; validating your unique experience; and redefining how we choose to forgive.

Here are some of her insights on the topic:

1. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior. It is about releasing the hold that the hurt has on us and freeing ourselves from the negative emotions that can keep us stuck in pain.

2. Forgiveness is a choice, but it is not always an easy one. It requires us to confront our own pain and vulnerability and to be willing to let go of the desire for revenge or retribution.

3. Forgiveness is a process that takes time and effort. It may involve working through difficult emotions, seeking support from others, and practicing self-care.

4. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation or restoration of a relationship. It is possible to forgive someone while still maintaining healthy boundaries or choosing to end a relationship.

5. We sometimes promote and take part in a sometimes “shaming” cultural focus that we must forgive, and the truth is, you actually don’t. You can accept the circumstance, be at peace with it and not have to literally “forgive.” We all have different definitions of what forgiveness means to us. And that’s okay.

6. Forgiveness is not actually an emotion, it’s a high level skill of emotional intelligence. In our haste “to forgive” we jump over all the necessary feelings of grief and anger, to get to forgiveness. It’s unrealistic because that buried pain shows up in other ways.

7. Forgiveness is a gift that we give to ourselves. It allows us to move forward with greater peace, joy, and resilience, even in the face of difficult circumstances.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal growth and healing. By understanding the complexities of the forgiveness process we can LEARN to let go of the past and embrace a more positive and fulfilling future.

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Related Articles:
Apologizing: Facing Vulnerability
Modeling Forgiveness and Compassion For Our Children

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